Mom's Brain

Tomorrow Will Be Better

As rough as the daytime tour of duty was, the night shift made up for it. I don’t know if she was just exhausted from the earlier battle or if the transition from day to night had some sort of reverse Sundowners effect on Mom. She would go from fighting every little thing to being more lucid and docile the moment that artificial light filled the room and the curtains covered the windows. As we’d sit in the family room half watching the tv, me in the recliner and her in the hospital bed that filled most of the small space, I could feel the change. I could feel her presence. I’d turn to look at her and find her watching me, her clear blue eyes warm and focused no longer angry and confused. “I’m sorry” she’d say. “Why are you sorry Mom?” I’d ask. “I’m sorry that I’m like this. I’m sorry that you have to take care of me”. As I stood and moved to her bedside, I could feel my chest begin to heave with overwhelming emotion. “I would do anything for you and I’m sorry that you have to go through this.” I’d then hug her tightly, feeling our tears mingle as our cheeks touched, and she would whisper in my ear. “I love you. Tomorrow will be better.”


8 thoughts on “Tomorrow Will Be Better

  1. Beautiful sentiments, beautifully expressed. A few years ago I had the experience of caring for my father, sitting with him, talking, reading with him, watching movies with him, gathering experiences as we knew it was near the end. It was not easy, and I miss him tremendously now, but I treasure (almost) all of those moments.


  2. efrompdx says:

    Those are hard times, definitely, but so worth it. I am grateful I was able to spend so much time with my mom at the end, and I know you share that feeling.


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